Jimmy's story

I was going to be seven years old in two weeks and I finally was going to get a last name. A name I could keep forever. My own name! I was being adopted.

Before I became James my life was a turbulent one. In and out of seven homes as a foster child. First adopted by a mother who one day left and never came back into my life. I've been Jimmy for four years now. I have forgotten lots of what happened to me. My mom tells me that the human mind is a wonderful thing; it has the ability to block out things that are too painful to remember.

My adoptive parents had been fighting every night. Sometimes the fights would end with one of them crying. It was scary for a six-year-old to hear his parents screaming at each other. Then one day my dad told me he was moving away. He promised me he would see me every weekend. My mom promised that she would never leave me. But one morning my mom told me I was going to a new babysitter. She kissed me good-bye and said she would see me after work. Six o'clock came. As it got darker outside, I began to look out of the window for my mother's blue car. I asked the babysitter when my mother was coming back. My babysitter told me to put on my pajamas. "She's not, " I was told. I was confused. What had I done wrong? Everything was going fine and then my parents started arguing. I thought it was my fault that they separated. It must be my fault. This was the second forever home I had lost.

Nobody ever kept me for very long. But this time it was worse. I had caused my parents to separate before they got rid of me. I tried so hard to be good! I tried to do what my parents had wanted me to do. Every time I let myself believe I was going to stay, the family would get rid of me. Why had my birth mom given me away? If she didn't want me, maybe nobody ever would.

After a while, it became easier to stop trying to be good – being good wasn't getting me a home. It became easier to hit someone if they annoyed me. If I was bored in class, I would get up and walk out. And this was only the first grade! I was moved to yet another foster home. My new foster mom had to come to school all of the time because I didn't behave. She and my social worker would ask me why I was behaving so poorly. I always answered "I don't know". So they sent me to a psychiatrist. I didn't tell him anything either. I just played on his computer and ran around his office.

One day in early July 1997, my foster mom told me another adoptive family had been found for me. I told her I didn't want to move again. I begged her to adopt me! Living at her house wasn't too bad. She had a big back yard and she didn't care that I got sent home from school for misbehaving. Also, my brothers at her house had a lot of video games to play with. But she said she couldn't keep me. She told me this adoptive family would be different. I didn't believe her - I wanted to, but no one else had kept me. Why should I believe this family would be any different?

The next morning I met my new mom and dad. My name, at that point, was Robert, the only thing that I had been able to hold onto my entire life. My new family was Jewish and I began to learn the importance of our names. When I realized that no matter what I did, my mom was always going to stay my mom and my dad was always going to remain my dad, I began to think about my name and who I was becoming. My parents wanted to give me the middle name of James, my mother's father. I told them I wanted my name to be James Robert. At last I had a name! And it is mine forever!

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Pete and Debbie - The Pitter Patter of Little Feet!

My husband and I were unable to conceive a child, but wanted to hear those echoes of Mommy and Daddy and the sound of pitter patters through our home. A friend of my husband had told him about CPS (Children's Protective Services) and how there were very many children who needed loving, safe and caring homes, if only for a short time. In January of 1996, we became foster parents. We were having such a great time with our foster kids - none of whom were eligible for adoption. We had always thought that if a child we were fostering was available, adoption would be a consideration. Then in 1998, the caseworker of one of our foster kids told us about two children, a brother and a sister, who would soon be eligible for adoption. We instantly agreed to foster the children - although, we knew in our hearts, before we saw them, that they would be staying permanently. However, we still thought very hard about this decision to make sure we were doing the right thing for ourselves as well as the children. After all, this was two children not just one! We were able to go over background information, medical information, etc., we completed our home study, filled out paper work - sometimes thinking that it seemed unnecessary, but knowing that, ultimately, it is all for the well being of the children.

Placement day! Oh boy, were we excited! I can so vividly see the van pull up into our driveway! The caseworker handing over to me the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen and her brother whose dimples could melt your heart! That day was nothing but elation! Both children were out going, friendly, loving and energetic! As the days and months passed, we all got to know each other better. We always talked about why these two children were with us and how we were meant to be a new family. Our daughter does not remember any of those early days, but our son does and we have always told him... . It was love that brought him to us!

Our days are filled with all the normal family stuff, but, in particular, with happiness and love and oh yes... echoes of... Mommy and Daddy and pitter patter, pitter patter!

Today Eythan is now a handsome 6 year old and Emily is even more beautiful at the age of 4. Then there's Mom ... Debbie and Dad... Pete who are the proud and thankful parents!

It is not always easy ... . However, Always Worth It!

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Arturo and Esperanza - Family Shares Home, Hearts With Waiting Children

Arturo and Esperanza began their journey as foster parents. Over the course of three years, they fostered 10 children. However, they found it very difficult to say good-bye when the children left their home. Arturo remembers, "From the beginning, it was difficult for me to decide if fostering or adoption was something I could do. I kept asking myself whether or not I could love someone else like my son or daughter? As soon as you hold one of those children, though, you forget all about that."

The family eventually stopped fostering but their children continued to ask for another child. At this point, the family began to seriously consider adoption. "Fostering was a good experience but we wanted the next child to stay here with us forever," said Esperanza.

Arturo and Esperanza were told about a sibling group of three children. While they still were not sure if this was the ideal situation for them, they decided to visit with the children before making any long-term decisions. The visit was wonderful! The children played well together and acted as if they had known each other forever. The family decided that this was the right decision for them!

Things were not always easy as each member of the new family adjusted. However, in time they all begin to settle in and all of the children blossomed. Omar, 13 said "It’s fun because now we can play soccer 4-on-4, the boys against the girls!"

As for the parents, Arturo and Esperanza say that adoption has been a wonderful experience. "Some people think that we give a lot, but I see it as the opposite - we receive a lot, " said Arturo. Esperanza agreed. "You don’t know how much love you have in our heart until you get to share it like this. I didn’t know that I could love this much."

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